1 Week out from the END of Treatment

Woke up to go to surgery this morning. Mouth was a little sore, but felt pretty good. So off I went. Drank my ensure and headed to the OR. The case was going slow, however, I was slowing faster than the case. About an hour in I got light headed and weak so decided to break scrub for a rest and needless to say (Dr. Hall is a Saint) I never went back. Before I knew it I was laying in the back on an eye table with an IV in me getting fluids. My glucose was 60 and HGB was 12.1 I say it coulda been a lot worse. But all this excellent help-- they had me up to 2 liters and running FAST :-) So finished helping with the case and headed home. Got home and the sun was shining soooo bright chesney and I just set outside and enjoyed the vitamin D infusion. I feel very energetic, revived, chubby faced, and renewed. Pressure on to keep this up now. But that is my goal. I can not Thank those of you that participated in my healing today. It means sooo much. Rob and I relaxed the rest of the day and was renewing for the weekend. My Mouth sores have been progressively getting worse and i am now wondering if that is not because I stopped my salt and soda solution. So I am goin to start that again.

So, Put not your faith in illusions, they will fail you, put all your love and faith in the Love of God within you. It will transport you into a state of mind that nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb and where nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God.

Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances.

Day 3 of New beginnings

Ok, so it is 1:3oam and my mouth settled down finally - Yea!! Now if we can just keep it that way for ....Ever ;-). Feeling good and ready to move on to a better healing day today. It is going to be better than right now every moment of today!!!

Well, Slept 6 straight hours for the first time in weeks. Feelin pretty good (woke up in pain) but I slept!!! Went to work and had a really good and productive day at the office. Then off for home to rest up for a long day tomorrow. My Niece came over for dinner and Apples to Apple -- We love laughing at Rob cause he hates the game because it is not black and white. He fights and gets very loud!!! LMAO you should see him. Good entertainment! My niece is good for my soul-thanks sweety!!! Bad part I decided to splurge and take my medicine and have Mexican now my mouth is paying the price---OUCH!!! Make it go away!. But yea! , Mom and I discovered it is time for my next dose so I am going to stock up and Go to bed!! Night night.. And until next time. Love ya!!

Day 2 of New Beginnings

Awesome day!! Slept in to get resting - as being forced by my BOSS!!! Man he is a slave driver --NOT!! Anyway - probably good thing, I had a headache all night and was recovering. But got up at 7:30am and did my veggie drink, treadmill (trying to get chesney and my strength built up.) Just 15min and then shower, breakfast and off to work, Funny part is all that takes me 1 1/2 hours which would usually take about 30. ( I feel like I'm 90 y/o LOL) Progress we ARE seeing progress just a little slow for my taste. Keep it up and we could cut 30min off that. Mom up today to help with work and I kinda like havin her here. Clinic was really busy and crazy and hectic. But with all the support and help I had today I did not get worn out like last week. I actually felt pretty good about it. Still a mess on my desk,(Good news-money for the practice) but I have all day tomorrow to get that cleaned up. Then it's Friday - YEA!! OOps not it's not its just Thursday - there I go wishing my life away again.

Tonight, Can't seem to get the right mix to get my mouth under control so I think I will just take a sleeping pill, one of everything else and go to sleep- we will start from scratch in the night. Seems to always work to "go to the beginning" so that is where I will go. Tomorrow -- A better day, I just know it!!

Day 1 of New beginings

Ok,Ok,OK... So I should listened to my Doctor and Husband more (SHHHH don't tell him). This was a bit of a hard weekend. Starting in the middle of the night on Friday in to Saturday, I was up all night, about every 3 hours needing my pain elixir. Of course this is a problem because I can only have it every 4 hours. So kinda long night. But no problem right - just get it refilled or call the doctor in the am and get some more. No not so easy. pharmacy likes to play God and won't refill it until insurance says its OK and the doctor can't give me more without a written prescription and since it is Saturday --- I get to deal (or go to the ER) which we all know I won't do. So I figured out if I wait about 30 min or SO I can get my headache meds down (capsule) and this has been controlling the pain Really well for the weekend - Probably too well. Been spending a lot of money buying stuff on the Internet and Well needless to say Rob wants to take my computer away!!! LMAO! (I bought him a stationary bike to exercise -that's why he is not happy-exercise not really in his vocab) But I have no pain for the first time in a while. Had an Absolutely Awesome, albeit, Short amazing period of time on Saturday too, when my sister, her husband and the 3 most precious angels came up to visit me. We played cards and just had a good time ---Being. They do restore me, Fill my life giving cup... It is amazing what these 3 bright smiles and hugs can do for me. They are truly a blessing, it is know wonder God has such a fondness for children. When they left I had a good Long cry, Poor Rob never knows what to do with me. Read a book and we rested the remainder of the day. Sunday was beautiful. We went to church, picked up the exercise bike and picked up some Taco Bell --- Yes I said taco bell, No - it didn't taste, but with new concoction I was able to eat it and it was kinda a treat for Rob. Soo down the hatch it went. It was snowing most of the day - off and on - and as you know by now this is a miracle that I love to watch - and drive around in, So peaceful!!! While I was laying in bed after we got home and just quietly being, looking at the flowers my dad had sent and talking to God. I decided to get a Pedicure, not just a regular pedicure a beautiful, soul inspiring SPRING pedicure. So, since I am on drugs, Rob took me up to the neighborhood Nail place and dropped me off and I got Orange toenails with bright, beautiful very large flowers on my toenails. I haven't done this in an extremely long time and they are beautiful and now every time I look at my feet I can remember ITS SPRING and everything is blooming. THANKS HUNNY FOR LETTING ME SPLURGE ONE MORE TIME (before the drugs wear off and I have to go back to work) This is a very long week so just please pray that I will make it through with great strenghth and endurance!

He Restores My Soul

Well here we are. The beginning. Yes- It has probably been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Which says a lot for my parents - I have always said I have truly lead a blessed and sheltered life. And I still believe that with all my heart! The Lord has been good to me-even through all this. I know there are so many worse things out there I could be going through and this is just a cake walk (cake-yum) oh, sorry.

My husband has been an unbelievable angel, he has been there through all of this with such grace and love and I really feel like a princess and to say that through something like this I feel is remarkable. Thank you hunny - you are truly my hero (my dread pirate Roberts) Love you.

And I can not say enough about my family and Friends the cards and letters and constant love and assistance I have received through all this has overwhelmed me. There is only one way to make it through something like this and that is with the encouragement and support of those around you. You can bring me up on the lowest of day, Give me that extra boost to go on. I especially want to thank my Best friend whom I have always said we were separated at birth and really believe it is true. She has been incredible to be there pushing when I didn't want her too and help me get through those tough days and just making me laugh. Laughter is really the best medicine I do believe that.

So here we are in the beginning. The Spring as Daddy calls it . God sent me a gift today for my last treatment- The Snow - And not just the regular old pretty snow I love, But the One with the Big flakes, Heavy but soft and magical- the ones I wait all year to see and haven't seen for years. A sign that he sends gifts in the toughest of times and he is there always knowing what we need. Yes - it is spring. Maybe not outside -- But within me The flowers are seeding up and ready to bloom and I can't wait to see what it brings for all of us. God has amazing plans for us all.

So stay tuned It is going to be a beautiful ride from here.

1 Treatment Left

So Rob, mom and I went to treatment this morning and then mom made me malt-o-meal for breakfast, then off to work. Long clinic day 11-5 which is a little longer than usual. Apparently it took its toll on me and around 4:45ish God gave me another cleansing. Always love a good cry-just not at work. I tried to hold out til I was gone but guess he had other plans for me. So they kicked me out and sent me home for the day. You know I was trying to figure it out - I really didn't think I felt that bad, Mouth a little sore and maybe a little tired but I guess sometimes it all just gets a little overwhelming.

But the good news it...


... it is really over already, because they can not do to me in one treatment anymore than they have done to me all ready. So I say tomorrow is just a formality. It is really over and All I have to do is show up. All that is left is the healing. God is GOOD!! Tomorrow after treatment I will meet with the Doctor and nurse to go over the post treatment care and what to expect. I can't wait!!

So since mom is here and I had a breakdown, I am stuck in bed for the night and she is an angel and is cleaning my house for me.
I can't wait to see where this blog goes from here because it will be all good news from here.

Thank you all for caring.
Love you

2 Treatments Left--

TWO can you believe it ---2 Wow!! I can't believe it. So Thursday and Friday is all there is.

Today was a pretty good day. I went to treatment and sent mom to work. Rob and I went home after treatment and took a nap --- I was never really good at that before, but I am getting pretty good at taking naps these days. Slept til 11:00 and then off to work. Clinic today was not too bad. Mom and Angie helped out and it went pretty good. There til 5 - Mouth hurting pretty bad by 5. So downed some elixir and off for home to down some more elixir so I can eat supper. Mom forced a baked potato down me. Did pretty good. Then she helped me pay bills - that hurt worse than the potato. But at least it is done for another 2 weeks and it doesn't seem as painful on drugs. hehe. Tomorrow will be a test of my strength for sure - got clinic from 11am - 5pm and it's busy. But then Only one more treatment and a weekend to recover before the schedule picks up for spring season. It's time to think bathing suits people!! 8pm heading to bed and since mom is here gotta watch idol. And asleep for the night--Countdown continues.

3 Treatments left

Countdown 3..2..1.. YEA!! Only three left, Pain elixir is not really keeping pain under control for eating anymore, so I asked the doctor for something new - In all fairness he tried to give it to me yesterday and I refused. So that's what I get for not listening to him.

Went to treatment and home for a little nap before going to work. Me, Rob and the three dogs all in the bedroom snoring, quite a site.

Anywho, Off to work for at least a couple hours, have a few things I need to get done, then, since my Doctor was delayed a day in Florida from the ice storm in Atlanta I have another light day that I can rest up for the rest of the week. Which by the way there's only 3 days left in....

So I went home and took a nap, then my momma came back up for the week, She gave my chesney his bath-which he needed baaad!! Was able to get some mac n cheese down with my new pain meds(still wasn't easy) I'm given it my all though cause I wanna get better. ASAP! And momma's here to kick my butt.

4 Treatments Left

Well, we are on the countdown now! Uneventful treatment - Saw the doctor- He says I am doing much better than expected, he will see me again on friday and go over our POST treatment plan. I sure like the sound of that.

Off to work for a little while and then home for some R & R to get ready for the next 4 days.

Sorry - Short and sweet tonight!

Off to bed-Night night!

5 Treatments Left

Sorry! Apparently I forgot friday. I took the day off work and I guess it felt like saturday and I forgot to blog. So it is sunday and we are down to 1 week, 5 treatments, 5 is my favorite number, I've got 5 people in my family... I digress. So, The countdown continues before I can begin counting my healing days and watching my repairing begin.

So - I can't really remember friday, barely saturday and well it is today. Doing pretty good, very thankful for pain elixir. My throat hurts pretty bad to swallow and my tongue stings most of the time. Really wierd, my mouth and tongue are stiff so I have to constantly exercise them to keep them loose. Well at least I am getting some excercise. Had a great valentines day, went to church and Rob took me to breakfast - He says we are offically old cause we went to Village Inn, I don't get it cause I went to village inn alot as a kid so I say we are offically young. Then we watched the nascar race and watched the beautiful snow. I got to skype my niece and nephew and mom and dad and wish them a happy valentines day, I am really liking this skype thingy kinda cool. Bout ready to head to bed to start this Last week of treatment.

I know I can make it 5 days - of course I know It won't be instant healing, but at least I can start watching for good - healing - effects instead of worsening effects. That is what I am looking forward too, each new, good day!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE--I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

GOD BLESS!

6 Treatments Left- SPRING IS COMING!

What a difference a day makes. Yes, I am still congested, still have a sore throat, my mouth is dry and nothing tastes good, But-- Wow!

I started today Mopey, and in a dark whole, feeling sorry for myself. Going to treatment feeling like a week is forever from now. Came home - on the verge of tears, all morning- went to work... Did my thing, went home to take a nap and whatever. Mom's sure do know how to turn things around. So do husbands, Daddy's and Nieces.

I came home, climbed into bed, and laid there feeling blah! ... Then the first thing that happened is the mail came. Momma sent me a card... She is gonna paint me a rainbow for after the rain and I got a lovely card from my aunt ...The first round of crying. Then, My husband came home and cuddled with me, A nap did me good. I got a very nice message from my daddy aaaannd...He sent me flowers-posted. He said "Spring is coming" and he wanted to show me with a spring bouquet. (I can't wait for spring) Then - Daddy sent the sun...As God always does he showed up at just the right time, sitting in the truck, waiting for Rob, The sun beams into the truck burning light and hope into my soul. It was amazing, beautiful, Recharging.

We left there and went to visit my niece for dinner and lots of love and laughs - Just what the doctor ordered!! (While momma cleaned my house-How blessed am I)

Right now laying here I feel amazing, the pain, stuffiness, darkness is all gone, (maybe it's the Vick's on the bottom of my feet-hey! whatever works).

I am recharged for one more week of this and then complete healing begins.

Goodnight and GOD Bless!

7 Treatments Left

Just 2 days left this week - and then one week left! Then the repairing can begin.

I am ready to be whole again. Last night I didn't sleep cause I was trying to breathe. My nose is so congested. My momma came up though and she is gonna make it better. We are trying Vicks tonight we will see if that works. Rob went to buy a air purifier. My husband told my I am boring --- And I guess I am gonna answer that as -GOOD, that means there are no changes and unless they are changes for the better I don't want any changes. He is just mad I can still talk! Sorry bout your luck dude. I got off work at 11am today, came home for a 2 hour nap, Gave my Chesney a bath and then mom came home and we went to the grocery store, I dreamed of all the good food. Ended up eating noodles. Watched a little TV and off to bed. Here's hoping the Vicks works.

8 Treatments Left

OMG, These numbers are getting so small!!!

Treatment today was uneventful as usual. That mask is getting bigger that is for sure. My husband made me scrambled eggs and oatmeal for breakfast-he's so good to me. Then off to work, busy day today, Last day before the doc leaves is always crazy, but that also means no clinic til Tuesday--YEA!! Rest for Shauna! Finally got off at 5 - went to the CVS cause I am drinking Robitussin like it is going out of style to help my thick sinus drainage. (I bought 3 bottles) hope that lasts me til at least Saturday. I actually had a pretty good day, didn't get tired today until around 3. But hung in there pretty good.
Maybe because I started taking some more vitamins yesterday, including zinc because I hear it is suppose to help recover my taste buds faster and i will do all I can to make that happen--- I do miss food! Everything else is no problem, I deal with the sore throat and nose and sinus drainage and congestion, skin changes and hair loss...But the food - The food I miss!!!

Cause, if you know me ..You know I Love to eat!!

Have a great night all, and ..Enjoy your supper for me - OH and have dessert too!

9 Treatments Left

9 Left, We are down to single digits.

Saw the doctor today after my treatment. He seemed to think I was doing very well. Said I must be taking very good care of myself. I think it is all of you taking good care of me!!!
Prayer Works!!!

Kind of a long day today, but I made it through just fine. Starting to get alot of sinus congestion, throat pretty sore, but I can still talk...hehe!

My niece found this and I love it so I thought I would share:

What a Tumor Cannot Do

It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.

It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendships.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the Spirit.

Thank you all for helping me cripple, shatter, corrode, destroy, kill, suppress, silence, invade, steal and CONQUER this disease!!!!

10 Treatments Left

OK- so this is the end of week 4 1/2 and we only have 2 to go. Wow, How time flies when you are having fun right.

Today was an adventure. Went to treatment - uneventful. Then had to go to the DMV because I got pulled over yesterday for having invalid tags on my car. Come to find out they invalidated them in 2002 --- So i have been illegal since then. LOL! So went to DMV- then to police station to file a missing plate report and then back to the DMV. FUN FUN! Then I had some phone line problems at work to resolve ( not done yet) and then off to get my new Cancer haircut. POSTED for all to see. Rob is NOT happy with me about that one, but do to the hairloss in the back I am unable to pull my hair up any more and I love it - so there!. ( THANKS MEL oxoxo) So funny he won't acknowledge it or me when asking about it. It'll grow back!! Unless I decide to keep it like this for ever. Then came home and took a 3 hour nap - wore me out. All in all though a pretty good day. Skyped my mom and dad and little nephew. ( I know - they are so Hip) Just choked down a back potato with LOTS of butter and cheese and hamburger and bar-b-q sauce -YUK! and now gonna rest up from that.
It snowed today and It is that beautiful Winter wonderland snow -- absolutely amazing. What a wondrous site.

Can't believe only 2 weeks left and next week my Boss is gone so I will be able rest nicely through that week - So really only 1 week left to worry about and then it is over--- COOL!

Gonna be gone before we know it!

11 Treatments to go (treatment 22)

Today was kinda crazy...


The machine was down when I got there today, Had to wait a little while (scary) But they assured me it was all right before my treatment.

Doing well otherwise throat constantly sore now and did have a bit of a nose bleed overnight, but nothing real bad. Rob still trying to get me hurt in the car on the way there in the am. Dropped Chesney off for a hair cut on the way to work. Work was not too bad until I was ready to leave at 4. And the phone went down. So I am still trying to get that worked out with the phone company. THEEEEN ... On the way home I got pulled over because apparently I am suppose to have a buffalo on my licence plate. So according to the cop I have been illegal for 3 years. Go figure. He did just give me a warning. So ...Guess tomorrow I will be at the DMV trying to get my plates fixed. I just pay online and they send me a sticker how am I suppose to know??


Whew ..Glad today is over. Just gotta get through treatment tomorrow and only 2 weeks left
YEA!!!

Here I am laying here trying to sleep, My throat feels more sore than after my surgeon cut me up - where is he when I need him. Funny enough I am having trouble keeping the film off my vocal cords. I keep waking up choking- which make my throat hurt worse. I know i know Dr. Barnhill "don't clear your throat" but its hard. And sugar free lemon drops don't work they are drying out my mouth. So water is the next best friend (if you call it that) So I am going to take a nice little concoction of Tylenol III elixer, Fiorinal, Unisom and ambien to maybe get me to sleep for a few hours tonight. It worked last night,- I still woke up enough I could feel the pain off and onand i would cough - ALL NIGHT LONG. But got sleep in between.

I have so many people wanting to do something for me and I do appreciate that sooooo much. However, right now i am truly living moment to moment and I don't' even know what I need until it is here, and then I sometime don't know what it is. I am just living in the moment and living it the best I know how -waiting on the Lord to make me whole again. The true blessing of this is I feel I am becoming so much closer to GOD. For Rob and I this has been a blessing in our life. I always said that if my having cancer would help the ones I love get better, learn more about God , become closer to God or each other it will be worth it to me. Because ultimately I am going to be fine... This is just a very trying journey, A short set back. Rob and I can't wait for the wondrous miracles that await us on the other side of this. We Know God has them waiting for us and that is sooo exciting. So Love you all very much, Thanks for the prayers and the cards they make me cry- which cleanses my soul and I love that. So keep em coming. Thanks again ooxx

12 Treatments left

Well We are still counting. Only 2 left this week and then two weeks left.

Maintaining my weight in spite of my self.

Treatment uneventful and I was a little easier on Rob this morning. Had my cheerios and boiled egg for breakfast along with my yummy veggie drink.(Not) Chef boy R D for lunch. Smelled like it tasted good.

Clinic was not toooo tiring this afternoon I did wear out a bit, Usually around 1:30 my head starts to feel like a lead weight. My goal is to at least make it to 4pm everyday. Not sure why, Everyone has to have a goal right. Mouth is a little dry but still bearable.

So- I say all in all I am doing wonderful for being so close to the end. I can only keep praying that this is as bad as it gets, Cause I can handle that.

My right ear canal has a crack in it just from being dry, my nostrils are hard and dried out. So the newest thing is Greasing everything up regularly-- don't want those nose bleeds or anything else. AAAANND Lucky for Rob still haven't lost my voice - I always say "GOD has a sense of humor" HEHE!!

Sorry Rob :0*

13 Treatments to Go

Ok down to lucky 13!!

Boy, Poor Rob had a lot to put up with today. I woke up IN A MOOD.. I told him I was Irritated - with everything he did. Driving, SINGING in the Grocery Store---REALLY! Breathing. Bless his heart he has been such a patient angel with me and all I could do was give him the evil eye and tell him to quit singing. WOW. What a B----! So I left him at home --With a Kiss! ... And cried all the way to work.. Guess I just needed a good 'ol fashion Soul cleansing. Cause I did feel better.

I know he must be a saint to put up with me! Thank you honey!

Today was pretty tiring, My mouth has been very dry despite my best efforts. Almost had a bit of a panic attack at work before clinic trying to find something that would moisten my mouth. I would have used Vaseline or (Vicks -Grandma Dessie's old recipe) if I had had it! And I'm serious. But a little praying and lots of water and all stabilized enough I could finish clinic. Very tired though, I left early (as soon as clinic was over) about 4:15 and Headed for home. Called my Wonderful husband and he brought me a tamale from Kokepelli's. I must say getting home to my pain elixir did me alot of good. Not something I really want to use but it sure does help. I don't feel like I am having pain... Until about 30 min after I take it and then its Like hmmmm that is kinda refreshing. It also allows me to get alot of calories in - in a short period of time. So whatever works.

Got to say I am sure tire of being tired and am really looking forward to feeling better and Exercising again- can't believe I am saying that either. Sooo tomorrow is hump day and on the down hill of week three left. Three treatments this week and then Only 2 weeks left--Amazing.

Time flies when you are having fun :-p

14 Treatments to go...

Ok, Here we go Counting backwards. YEA!!!

Had a wonderful weekend. Mom and Dad and my little Angel came up from Fordland to visit me. It is amazing how the visit of family can fill the soul (my cup runneth over). We had a lot of fun, went out to eat - everyone ordered food and I taste tested everything, Nothing really good, But after a bite off of all the plates I got me calories. Kinda fun too. Abbye brought her sewing machine and we made a doll skirt and watched some fun movies. Just had a great, fun weekend and the best part is mom cleaned my house -- COOL! :-)

They all went to treatment with me today and saw the doctor. Treatment was uneventful, The doctor said I was doing great, "Still have along way to go" I WISH HE WOULD QUIT SAYING THAT!!! I think I am doing great and only 3 weeks left. I am NOT going to have all those symptoms he keeps talking about. "Has your nose started bleeding", " Is your mouth dry", "How's The Pain" ---Great actually, Only a little dry throat and sore throat, Today actually was the first day I had a little dry mouth, and I just increased my water and did well. I am gonna have to start sucking on lemons to over activate my salivary glands -hehe!!

CPR Certification today-so I can save my self if I Code from eating nasty food. LOL


Got my 1200 Calories in today-- Just get to start over tomorrow.

Rob says it is weird hearing me dreading food. Oh, The doctor said today also-- most symptoms should clear up within a week or two of stopping treatment, EXCEPT my taste he say 6 weeks to 6 months. That's encouraging. NOT.

ONLY 4 treatments left this week--- Have a great night.